Friday, 30 March 2012

100 Word Challenge by Sam

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Bill. He loved to eat chocolate and it was two days away from easter.He could not wait so grabbed a easter egg from his Mum’s room and ran outside.He left it there in the middle of the garden and the chocolate rabbit melted in the sun like a frying pan.When Bill came back outside to eat the rabbit it was not there it had melted in the sun. He started crying and realised he should not of took it without permission and should not do it ever again, at all.

4 comments:

  1. Well done Sam, a lovely story with a good moral to it. I also really liked that you thought of a simile...maybe it could be 'like butter in a frying pan', although that might be too many words! Keep up the good work!

    Miss Hall (Team 100WC)

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  2. Caroline Hardman (Team 100WC)12 April 2012 at 16:40

    Poor old Bill! But it sounds like he learned an important lesson. You did a great job of telling a complete story with your 100 words Sam, and I thought you chose some terrific verbs - 'grabbed' and 'realised' are really powerful and much more interesting than 'took' or 'thought'! Keep up the great 100WC work!

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  3. Hi Sam, I loved your blog it was great, I feel sorry for Bill about that rabbit melting but he did learn his lesson.
    Raphael.

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  4. thanks for all the nice comments guys!!! :)

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